Sometimes things that you want desperately in the little crook of your heart to work out just don't. Though there might be reasons for it, all in all it's just the way it's meant to be. It's hard when it comes to pass that whatever it is won't come to pass. It hurts a little in that organ in your chest.
All week long I've been emailing about some special little babies for our farm. When the gauntlet was falling and purchasing was emminent suddenly the price per animal changed. It rose nearly 200% and shot those babies straight out of my price range. I felt a little used, a little hurt, a little like I was being taken advantage of. I'm a brand spanking new farmer. Still ruddy in the cheeks from birth. I'm just now learning what the upper most tip of farming life is like, even if I've jumped in with both feet.
I left the house this morning wondering if we'd ever be able to start with anything more than chickens and rabbits, dairy heifers are out of our price range, sheep won't be available until late next year. We're not allowed pigs and horses wern't really ever considered. Even the milk goats in our area are now too pricey. My heart was heavy with disappointment.
After I came home I decided not to give up. There had to be someone looking to sell us some healthy baby goats at a reasonable price in my area. I searched Craigslist again and lo and behold an ad from December 6th popped up that I hadn't looked at. For some reason none of my searches pulled up the ad which was for baby goats in my city (which is pretty amazing since the entire town is less than 3 miles wide). Actually, even more amazing is that they're literally the next block over. Behold Providence. Within hours I had a car load of human kids, feed, milk, hay and two darling baby goats.
I'm a little nervous. These are the largest animals we've had so far. They're official livestock, not back yard chickens or fluffy rabbits most people keep for pets. But even under the nervousness and excitement of taking this enormous step, I feel confident the path of the Universe worked itself the way it was supposed to. Even if I had to go through a little bit of rocky travelling.