A few hours ago Rob left for North. Nausea, nervousness, excitement and general disquiet have been filling us both these last few days.
It's happening. We're moving. It's inevitable now.
What wild, crazy thing have I gotten us into this time? Though I feel in my heart that trepidation before any life-altering event is called for, when you're experiencing it, well, it doesn't feel so great. When I mention to others what we're about to embark on I usually get glazed over looks that tell me it's time to shut my mouth. Lots of smiling and head nodding at appropriate times. The fact is what we're doing is radical. Monumentous, so far from the norm that there just flat out is no appropriate response from those that do not share the calling.
"You're going to what?" "How are you going to do that?" "Where will you get this?" Comprehension of our dream is sometimes difficult for others to grasp no matter how much explaining we try and do. Actually, over-explaining has gotten us into many an akward conversational situation.
Crashing through barriers of social norm is a harrowing, frightening thing to do when you're going head first into the blockades. For the longest time it's just been all talk. We want to do X. The factor of X still sometimes even unclear to us. But it's been only wanting. Yearning.
Yes, we bought land but again that's not a really concrete step. Lots of people invest in land they never use. Yes, we bought a shed and a shipping container for the future idea of creating a home up there. But no work has been done as of yet. Making phone calls isn't a solid thing. Gathering information for use later is just words in a book. Living so far away and still having a job here, it has still felt like a pipe dream, a maybe, a want that would probably never come to life.
Today somehow makes all the work and talk we've been doing real. Rob no longer lives in Tampa. It's a fact. It's concrete. We will be following him within a few short months or sooner. We are moving to the land.
So it begins, there is no more wanting.